the wind was cutting us back from the shore, the tide lay a brave walk away. The sheer distance frightened me, but allured you. You had already grabbed my arm and pulled me along with you towards it's black tongue out there in the pitch darkness.
Head still reeling from the celiah and the drinks, I wanted home.
We made an odd pair, me in my kilt and you in your simple shalwar kameez.
Now
I can see your eyes smiling, that wild mad look of come on lets do this, laughing that huge laugh that seemed to fill the silence of the entire coast.
I wouldn't follow you. I
Let you go on alone.

You almost disappeared from sight.
I was shouting after you.
Nighat lets get home now!
Come on...For f's sake!

I had to go after you. found you by the water's edge,a lonely figure, your shoes wet and your face speckled with sea water.
The smile had left your lips.
The laughter and dancing of a students night out seemed a million years ago...
As you said
It's soo beautiful. I wish it would just stay like this forever.

Perhaps already then you knew that those moments were few and counted.
Perhaps if I knew I would have stayed out there longer, less afraid

instead

of insisting it was
late
cold
dreary
and not beautiful at all
Out there at 2am on a beach in the middle of nowhere.

In memory of Nighat Waliat Ali 1973-1998

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