sunset Posted by Hello

Having just realised that readers would ask about what was fact and what was fiction...would it be fair to call it factual fiction? Perhaps cowardly to call it pure fiction? Posted by Hello
I unconfused my mind.
My eyes reflected
A look departed.
The room was as I found it almost one year earlier;
Pallid walls, wool rug, bed and desk.
Everything was as it should have been.
As
I had never been there.

I closed the door with trembling hands,
Quickly
Locking out a memory before it ruined my perfectly unobtrusive exit.
The dusty steps creaked under my boots. My
Suitcase bashed the walls as I hurried down the narrow stairwell,
Of an old tenement block on Springbank terrace.

I did not look back
Until today.

The taxi pulled away fast, ripping memories to shreds.
The streets blurred as my eyes brimmed with tears.

I tore myself away from Aberdeen and you
all. That
Which remains
Our little city on the brink of the North Sea;
Never abadoned and never forgot and always a vivid memory
In the back of my mind.


To Nighat, Nicole, Ha, Mollo and Dalli for all our midnight walks and talks across the beach in winter!!! Definitely a walk on the wild side!
1995
Gnaw at a feeling
Till it chews me up
Eroding my better thoughts to rot.

Being fearful to raise my doubts.

To
Wait
to
be
called...
Instead I'll call you
Or stand in your doorway,
Self esteem boldened to the notion
Of a
rejection.

And I'll never swallow my hurt

lodged in my lungs
A piece of barbed wire
Catching my words
And the dread of tears.
Instead
Heroically,
I will cry.

1996








posted by aminah at 8:04:00 am 0 comments

These twisted cruel thoughts
Spawned from an abhorrance
Scarred deep and consequential
In between the crevices of my mind.

I vial with wrath.

These disheveled thoughts
Embarked on an emotional rampage.
Captivating pictures of a past life
Which lured me into
Mourning your absence
Since the death of our togetherness.

These vicious thoughts
Originated the moment you crushed the good in me.

And now
I coalesce with wrath...
In tribulation
and in protecting myself from vain love
Experienced
2 years &
3 months
Ago.

1996




just a sky, but all the same so beautiful Posted by Hello
There was silence then the hiss of heat rising against the sharp morning air. Blood on the windshield. Smoke coils up through the branches of the old tree. A spirit has faded from our midst. There are sirens. Uniformed men approach with caution. The car windows are smashed and all the while there are words of reassurance to the passengers, who have sadly already left the trauma scene. Paramedic arrive, their efforts are futile. A blood stained cuff trims a lame hand dangling off the stretcher. We know he is dead.

I imagine he was high, speeding through this little city's streets, the police hot on his tail, his hands clenching the steering wheel, his boot jammed down on the accelerator...Imagining he could actually get away unscathed. The small streets now a motorway. The police are chasing a stolen vehicle with a madman behind the wheel.

The car smashed into a taxi, a traffic light and veered off the road and into the trunk of the old tree.

Then there was that silence.
Two men pronounced dead at the scene.

Birds twitter somewhere high up in the branches of the tree.

I can taste blood in my mouth and I realize witnessing this I'll never be the same.